my hands are full and my iPhone is in my pocket. Maybe you can get it out for me

There are a few things that I seem to value beyond most.  Of course the expected friends and or family would be mentioned here but that just wouldn't be fitting.  No I rather boast about something a bit more loving and caring.  An object that is a bit more shiny and plastic then an intangible and often indescribable sort of feeling.  I'm sure you can guess what I'm hinting at and I don't seem to have to spell it out for you to get the gist.  Reading comprehension 101 will hopefully serve its purpose, something which lohan obviously lacked while perusing the script for i know who killed me.

It seems that for once a tangible piece of nothingness actually is something that draws them in.  I guess this could be argued over whether this is for better or worse but at the moment the coin flip deems it better.  The only thing more ironic then this phenomena is the practice of friendship.  Although the idea of what draws them is something I might never come to terms with it bothers me that the ones I truly care about I hardly see.  

Those two people will most likely read this blog in some iteration somewhere scattered across the internets.  Its times like now that makes me reevaluate whats really important.  Why is it that I seemingly allow myself to float away from certain people, especially when I consider them some of my best friends?  I don't shy away from hanging out with them when the opportunity displays itself but why is it that I don't seem to ever just take the initiative and make sure that I see someone I care about for more then one yearly visit.

Although at times it may seem to mirror it, this is not jail, nor are there bars on my windows.  I believe the real problem of the matter is that maybe I'm worried that deep down if i did see these people more often they would stop caring about me and quickly realize the mistake in being friends with me.  Then again I am also someone who thinks the alvin and a chipmunks movie is a good idea, so my judgement is obviously a bit lacking at times.  

The point is I am a shitty friend to both of you and I need to fix that.  Maybe then I can at the very least feel like hanging out was fun and not just me being a bore, cause I swear I can be fun.  Also this may just stem from wanting to hang out with your friend again.  

If there was a checklist pertaining to me horrible person would adorn it proudly.